Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
