He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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