Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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