I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
