You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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