he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
