I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
