I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I skipped work to stalk him.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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