I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Randomize
