the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
