I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize