One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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