Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
