the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
