Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
