i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
