you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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