She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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