Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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