I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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