It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
