Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
