arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
