That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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