hotel room ftw
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
