i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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