just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
