Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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