i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
