i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
