He had one of those small greek statue penises
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
