Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Randomize
