somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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