no. you can't hotbox the world.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
