But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
