Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
