apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
