I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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