woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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