He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
