Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
