he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
