What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
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Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
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GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
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