she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
