God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
