She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
