he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
