Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
My life is pants optional.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
