If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
