I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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