i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
