So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
organizing the empties. That sober.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
