you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
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