Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you win again, gameday.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
