But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
