Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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