You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
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I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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