i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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