Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
