i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
