alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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