It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
