I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
