This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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