I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
