I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
