so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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